Fans of the Opie and Anthony show are used to hearing talking about gaming. Both O&A are gamers spending many segments talking about games they're playing. They've even have had famous gaming celebrities as the Angry Video Game Nerd and Lazlow from the GTA series. One of the biggest gamers is show regular and comedian, Robert Kelly. Unlike a lot of comedians who play games but don't put them in the routine, Kelly talks about gaming as much as his weight(which he's lost a ton of), annoying women, and whatever stupid shit going on in the world. Being the kind, generous, hilarious and other compliments that show my appreciation for this interview; Robert Kelly takes some time out to talk about gaming.
O.G.: Let's get this out of the way first. What was the first game you played?
Robert Kelly: Adventure on Atari was the first game I played. My second step-dad got it for me and my sister because my mom was divorcing him. He thought that it might get us on his side. Well it did. My mother came home and we asked her to stay with him. She ended up throwing the system out.
O.G.: What was the game you were first absolutely obsessed with?
Robert Kelly: It was Tomb Raider on PSX. I loved that game. I just kept playing, thinking she would show her boobs at some point. It never happened.
O.G.: What are you currently playing?
Robert Kelly: Call Of Duty: World at War.
O.G.: What's been your longest gaming session of all-time?
Robert Kelly: 12 hours straight. Dane Cook and I played Quake 3 on the computer. I just remember my chick's face when she woke up and I was still playing. It was like she could smell dog shit but didn't know where it was.
O.G.: What are some of your overall favorite games?
Robert Kelly: I would have to say Tomb Raider, Quake 3 on my computer, Rainbow Six Vegas 1 but not 2. Two sucked ass. And all of the Call of Duty's. I'm a shooter motherfucker.
O.G.: Are you looking forward to the new UFC game, being the MMA fan that you are, even though most of the UFC games have sucked elephant penis in the past?
Robert Kelly: I love the UFC, but I don't think I'm going to get it. I've always hated those games where it's just you and some other dude going at it. Body blow, body blow, uppercut. Fuck that! Those games are good when you have friends that come over and play. Problem is, I have no friends that would come over. But I might just buy it to put a triangle choke on someone. I'll never get a chance in real life to do that without getting my head knocked in.
O.G.: What's the put down you heard online that it was so damn utterly car crashing bad that you still laughed that some idiot thought of it and then had the balls to say it out loud?
Robert Kelly: I had a grown man call me a jerk. That's all he had, "YOU JERK!" God I wanted to punch him in his cunt.
O.G.: Do you have an "I'M SO FUCKIN GOOD I DON'T NEED THIS BITCH OF A TEAM ANYMORE!!" moment?
Robert Kelly: It happens a lot. Usually late at night when I'm playing some assholes in Australia with shitty connections.
O.G.: Out of the regulars on the Opie & Anthony show, who are some good players and where would you rank? Then amongst your comedian buddies, are there some badass players or just lots of smack talking with no skills?
Robert Kelly: Patrice O' Neil is really good but he never plays online. Jim Norton has a brand new PS3 because someone gave it to him. But he never plays games on it. He just keeps it for the blu-ray. YUK!!! Anthony plays but he sucks at console games. He is so bad, you can just use your knife on him, and he can have a "noob tube" the whole time.
O.G.: In your comedy, you've mentioned being with women who will simply not understand video games. Have you don't some blatant lies to get out of girl crap to play more games? What are some lines you used?
Robert Kelly: Never. You just have to pay for everything. Mortgage, pocketbooks, vacations to Aruba, and then she has no ground to stand on. "You like this house then SHUT YA FACE!". If your chick has a job and pays for shit you're fucked. Or you could just use the oldie but goody, "I play this so I don't hit you."
O.G.: Have you received any gaming perks yet? Invites to E3? Free games/accessories? Blowjobs from a booth babe?
Robert Kelly: After Tourgasm, the lady from Xbox sent me a brand new Xbox 360. That was bad ass.
O.G.: What are some games you're looking forward to?
Robert Kelly: I CANT FUCKING WAIT FOR CALL OF DUTY 2 MODERN WARFARE. It's driving me nuts. I love Call of Duty WaW, but enough with the bolt action rifle.
O.G.: You're on Call of Duty: WAW a lot, ever think about making the leap and joining a clan?
Robert Kelly: Well I had the anti-clan, the GAAYS. We would always be nice even if we won and compliment the other team's play. The best part was we were all really good, so other clans would get their asses kicked and we would just try and make them feel better about themselves in a very sassy voice. Most clans would get so mad and leave, but not before calling us FAGS for ten minutes. Then we would just start singing "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU." That got them even madder. God I miss the GAAYS.
O.G.: Would you be willing to risk years of criticism, and lack of testicles, by playing a Wii Fit for the sake of losing more weight?
Robert Kelly: Fuck ya, if I could stay home and work out naked. I would love to see how it feels to do jumping jacks nude. Have my balls bouncing off my belly button and my ass. Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!
YOUSTINK2 is out!!!!
To play Robert Kelly online, find him on Xbox Live with the Gamertag, YOUSTINK2. For more info on Robert Kelly:
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